"I know I’m in for a wild ride, but I’m excited for the chaos"
Currently pregnant with her second baby, Bump & Baby Club writer, Lottie Lewis, shares her experience of the first trimester with a toddler in tow, and her thoughts and excitement about growing her family.
Words: Lottie Lewis
Photos: Sam SherringAn average morning during my first trimester: It’s 6.30am and my boyfriend is leaving for work. I’m 10 weeks pregnant and I’ve just thrown up my Weetabix back into the bowl. Our beautiful 18 month old daughter is waiting for me in bed when I return from the bathroom, holding out another book. I am deep in the trenches of morning (all day) sickness and am questioning how I’m going to get through the day/ rest of the first trimester. But unlike my first pregnancy, I don’t have the option of closing my eyes, wallowing in self pity, turning on Netflix and sleeping the day away. So I brush my teeth, cook Bonnie her scrambled eggs (dear god, the smell) and pull myself together.
I am so much sicker this time round, but in some ways it’s felt surprisingly easier. Being pregnant with Bon was an entirely different experience: it came as a total shock, I had no idea what to expect, we were living in a van during the hottest summer I’ve ever known and my emotions were all over the place. Pregnancy number two has been a different kettle of fish. Both my partner Charlie and I are so happy to be having another baby, especially after experiencing the total joy that Bonnie has brought to our lives. I feel so lucky to have fallen pregnant again so easily, and strangely, almost greedy. How can we deserve another baby when we already have beautiful Bonnie? Of course, throwing up multiple times a day and being totally exhausted whilst chasing a toddler around has been a huge struggle, but it’s made bearable by the walking, talking proof of how worth it it is.
They say it takes a village, and I don’t think I’d be so positive about the whole experience if it weren’t for Charlie, my family and a couple of close friends. Over the two and a half months that I was poorly, Charlie took control of the mornings with Bon before work (she’s an early riser), then, upon his return, bath time, bed time and the nights (she’s never been much of a sleeper). Many hands make lighter work and I spent most days at my parent’s house, where Bon is free to roam around the garden, feed the chickens, chase the dogs and nap under the apple tree in the buggy. A couple of close old friends knew about the pregnancy from early on, and whilst their children have entertained Bon I’ve wasted away on their sofa being offered beige food, or we’ve ventured to the beach with the kids, where I’ve felt slightly more alive.
Anyone who suffers with morning sickness knows it is (hopefully) a waiting game until you emerge the other side, finally washing your hair and claiming that coveted pregnant glow. My survival tools over the first 14 weeks were Weetabix the moment I opened my eyes, hot lemon water, fresh air and as much sleep as Bonnie would allow me. Plus asking for and accepting help. A positive 12-week scan, friends who understood the struggle and sunny autumn days were all a bonus.
Looking back now, it’s a relief to finally have energy again, but I somehow found the exhaustion of the first trimester easier to deal with the second time around. During my pregnancy with Bonnie I had the luxury of lie ins and afternoon naps, but I had never experienced exhaustion like it. 18 months of broken sleep has trained me to be a pretty functional person on minimal rest, and whilst this second pregnancy has been extra tiring due our whirlwind toddler, I’ve actually coped better than I expected to. However, I’d also like to thank my parents, sisters and Shaun the Sheep for keeping my daughter entertained when I couldn’t keep my eyes open…
With the new baby due a month after our daughter turns two, I know I’m in for a wild ride, but I’m also excited for the chaos. All my mum-friends-of-two say going from one to two is actually easier than becoming a mother for the first time: you’re not so anxious and you’ve already made the overwhelming transition to motherhood. Personally I found the early months of caring for Bonnie really hard. I struggled hugely with the push-pull of trying to claw back my old life; mourning my freedom, lack of responsibilities and previous ability to live selfishly. It took me a long time to surrender to the way things were going to be, but when I finally relaxed I was able to enjoy the new lay of the land. I’m looking forward to this next season of motherhood, this time knowing what to expect.
Comfortably easing into my second trimester with the ability to eat fruit and veg again, it is hard to imagine the special kind of hell that was my morning sickness. First trimester with a toddler pushed me to the limit daily, but we survived it, as millions of other women have before me, and I’m already looking back on the experience with rose-tinted glasses. During that time of sickness, nausea and exhaustion I swore to my partner that we weren’t having any more children after this one, but due to the workings of the wonderful mind of women, I’m already considering a third one day…
