"Check your chest and get to know it"
Fourteen months after becoming a mother, Balham Club member, Henny Lenahan, was diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer. She asked us to help her spread the message about the importance of checking your chest, and how to do it while experiencing the very normal breast lumps and changes that happen during and after pregnancy.
We sat down and spoke about everything, from Henny’s pregnancy and birth to the months that followed, and the deeply inspiring way she’s approached her life-changing diagnosis.
Photos: Lucy Willis
Interview: Alex KohanskyWhat was the start of your motherhood journey like?
My husband and I had been married for four years and had decided the time was right for us to start trying. I was having very irregular periods so I went to the doctor and got diagnosed with polycystic ovaries and told that it would be harder for me to get pregnant. My mother suggested I tried acupuncture and within 6 sessions I was pregnant. I’m conscious of so many friends who’ve gone through IVF so I don’t take for granted how lucky we were and feel very blessed.
Do you remember much about the moment you found out you were pregnant?
After feeling nauseous for a few days I bought some pregnancy tests. After doing the test in our bathroom I somehow got distracted and went downstairs (how I don’t know, but I did!). Next thing you know, my husband had gone in and shouted down to me, “Are you pregnant?!” Looking back now it’s fun that he found out in a surprise! He was so happy, which was a relief for me as I’ve always had a fear of finding out you’re pregnant and the other person you find out with isn’t over the moon. We had a Padel game booked in and I remember us both smiling about our secret throughout the game!
Was your pregnancy smooth?
Overall yes. I didn’t have any complications with the pregnancy but I did get lots of annoying symptoms, like Restless Leg Syndrome - I didn’t even know that was a thing! And the hormones! A lot of crying about things I wouldn’t have cried about and being easily angered or frustrated. I’m a hot-tempered lady already so I found it really hard to regulate my emotions.
And the sleep! I knew new mums had tough sleep but wasn’t aware how much pregnancy can affect one's sleep.
Are you happy to talk about your labour and birth?
Yes, always! I love all holistic treatments, especially off the back of the success with conceiving through acupuncture, so from 38 weeks I had weekly acupuncture and reflexology appointments. I believe these are brilliant for releasing hormones to help ripen the cervix but also to de-stress. It seems a bit luxurious now to have 2 treatments a week but looking back I’m so pleased I carved that time out. I’m also convinced that this combo is why I had a 6-hour natural birth, which for a first baby is rare!
As soon as my due date came, we started all the usual tricks (curries, sex, a sweep etc). It’s surreal in those final days. Everyday you wake up thinking “this could be the day!” Then one week after my due date, my waters broke at 5 in the morning but with a green substance. I knew from the antenatal classes that this was meconium (baby’s first poo) and to go straight to hospital.
And what was it like in the hospital?
From the car journey onwards my contractions came every 45 seconds, which didn’t give me much of a break in between to catch my breath, so it was intense from the start. We had a lovely midwife called Luna. I remember her name because it was a full moon that night! St George’s staff were amazing, I am in awe of all midwives.
Were you surprised by the intensity of the contractions?
I had been with my sister during her early labour and remember counting her contractions to be every 5-6 minutes apart and slowly getting more frequent. So I knew this was intense but you don’t have much time to think about much apart from staying focused in the moment. My husband, Luke, was an amazing birth partner though - rubbing my back and refilling my water bottle so many times - I had unquenchable thirst!
Henny’s daughter, Sofia
Is there anything in particular you’d like to share about your birth experience?
About 5 hours into the labour, the midwife advised me that it would be best to have a small cut to get her out. An episiotomy was one of the big interventions I was most nervous about having to have. I mean the thought of being cut down there is enough to make anyone squirm right!? But when I was in the moment, and knew I had been giving it my best efforts to push her out, I just thought, “ok this needs to happen” and it was fine.
I also think mums are just amazing. The fact that after delivering a baby, you then have to deliver the placenta too! Which I found surprisingly painful. I think that doesn’t get talked about as much as we’re so focused on the birth itself. Then they wheel the placenta over to you on a metal trolly asking if you want to have it explained - like steak restaurants do when they come over with the raw meat on the boards for you to choose!
And what was it like when you met Sofia?
Ah it’s emotional and overwhelming isn’t it? Incredible really. I’d worked so hard to get her out, when she was put on me, I remember feeling equal measures of happiness and exhaustion!
During pregnancy we (well, I!) didn’t want to find out the sex of our baby. Took some persuading! It sounds corny but to me, it’s one of life’s best surprises.
Ah that’s so lovely! What do you remember about the journey home?
I had a tough night on the ward - the families in the beds next to me were so loud, having long calls and putting relatives on loudspeaker or watching Youtube videos with no headphones. I was delighted to leave and get back for cuddles in my own bed.
How did you feel during the early days and weeks of motherhood, and what were some of your biggest learnings?
The first few weeks back I had the biggest endorphin high. We were bouncing off the walls happy - but to my detriment I didn’t rest nearly as much as I should have. I went too far on some walks and some of my stitches from the episiotomy came out. So, first lesson to any new mumma is let your body heal by resting lots for the first few weeks!
I think one of the most challenging things though is that there is so much information out there. People say it's a minefield. It is a minefield. You’re googling everything, reading books, speaking to family & friends and so much contradicts each other. You can get yourself in a pickle.
Information overload is one thing but that shouldn’t be confused with the importance of asking for help. If you’re lucky enough to have friends who ask you what they can do to help - say yes! Don’t be embarrassed to ask. Your good friends won’t mind bringing cooked meals over or helping doing some chores if baby needs tending too but you’re feeling overwhelmed with laundry and dishes.
Henny, Sofia and Luke
You contacted us with a request to share breast cancer awareness, do you want to talk about where this has stemmed from?"
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to speak about this. The crucial message here is for all men (and women) to check your chest every month. As a mumma, we’ve so much on our plates already and by no means do I want to scare but it’s so important to action because it could save lives.
Checking your chest as a breastfeeding mum can of course be confusing because some lumps could be totally normal. But by checking (look and feel) regularly, once a month, you can note what’s new and what’s changed - is it painful, has it got bigger etc? If unsure, any of the breast cancer charities like CoppaFeel and Breast Cancer Now have great resources to guide you.
In November 2023 I was diagnosed with incurable breast cancer. I had found a lump in my left boob back in spring and got it checked after about 3 months. Unfortunately whilst I’m a big fan of the NHS, I was misdiagnosed (even if they won’t admit that). I was told the lump wasn’t cancerous and so left feeling relieved. In hindsight, I definitely should have got a 2nd opinion.
Three weeks later I woke up with really sore hip pain. Within weeks I couldn’t walk properly. At no point did I (or the doctors) relate the previous lump with this issue. Eventually I went private and found that the pain was actually a big tumour in my hip that had spread from my breast. I had ER-positive, HER2-negative incurable (stage 4) breast cancer.
Can you explain what that means?
It’s a mouthful I know! There are 4 most common types of breast cancers and two of them are hormonal. So when women are going through any kind of hormonal change, they are more susceptible to those two. My type ‘oestrogen receptor positive’ feeds off oestrogen.
The reason I came back to Bump & Baby Club is because so many of your members and network are going through hormonal changes through pregnancy so I knew we had an opportunity to spread awareness. If I’d been checking my chest before I got pregnant, and if I were doing it whilst I was pregnant, I might have got to know which lumps were there before and gone sooner.
This is such an incredibly difficult thing to go through and we are so grateful to you for sharing your story. Are you ok to talk about how it’s been affecting your day-to-day life?
Thank goodness for modern medicine! It’s meant that instead of doing chemo I’m on what’s called ‘targeted therapy’ - a mix of injections and pills that put me into medical menopause. By shutting down my ovaries, they cut off the source of oestrogen which starves the cancer cells. The impact to any female when they lose oestrogen can affect everything from your skin and hair, your bones, and your emotional state. And that’s for any average women. But because I was medically induced into menopause, the symptoms were exacerbated.
So day-to-day, imagine layering on all the emotions you already have as a mum of exhaustion and heightened emotions - then putting menopause on top of that! Emotionally / mentally it’s been hard and continues to be something I have to work on.
That is so much to deal with! Do you have any particular methods for coping?
Yes, the more coping mechanisms you can put in your basket the better. I think I fail often, but I try to learn from each failure. I have to reset every day. For example, anger and frustration is actually one of the most common symptoms of breast cancer medication and, for me, it's one of the most common feelings. I have had to normalise feeling anger, because I’m dealing with so many emotions.
As women we need so many things in our toolbox, and they can be as simple as seeing friends and going to a yoga class. For me it's been continuing with acupuncture. It's the only thing that's helped my symptoms. And staying in a community of mums. Being with mums who are honest about what they are going through and about how they feel makes you then feel, “Ok, I’m not going crazy. There are other mums out there that are also finding it hard to keep their cool sometimes.”
Also reflection is key. Reflection and gratitude. I know gratitude is talked about a lot, but every night when I put Sofia down to bed I say, “Sofia, I’m grateful for…”, and then I’ll mention two or three things I’m grateful for that day. I’ve done it with her pretty much since she was born, and it's a good anchor for me to remember to practice gratitude with myself. I did this before Sofia could speak and now it's amazing when she does it back to me.
I love that! And it sounds like something she’ll always have. I’m curious to know if you think your diagnosis has changed how you view motherhood?
I think being grateful for being a mum, not taking it for granted. I could continue a long life but I also, understandably, worry about how long that life will be for. So whilst I don’t allow myself to think about it often (because bad thoughts don’t help anyone), I want to have the best time now with Sofia just in case I only have limited years left.
Right now I have responded incredibly well to treatment and the tumours are all under control now so I just hope to continue to react well to future treatment plans.
Do you have have any other words on how important it is to you to spread the message about checking breasts?
I hope the one action any of your readers take from this is to check their chest monthly. If they are like me and a bit forgetful, then CoppaFeel have a brilliant text reminder service... just text ‘BOOBS’ to 82228 and you get free text reminders once a month to check your chest - nothing else, no spam. Or designate a friend or family to get the texts and remind you.
The other thing I’d like people to take away from this is getting a second opinion. It's not about not trusting your GP - but when you feel something is off, don’t take one person's word for it.
And finally, I would like people to know that you can have cancer and you can be ok. I believe I’m going to live a long and healthy life. Stage 4 doesn’t mean game over. If you do get cancer, feel confident; I’m a living example that you can have it and be ok.
