Meet the instructor: Ellie
Midwife and mum of 3, Ellie, has been the heart and soul of our busy Thame Club since it launched in 2022. She spoke to us about her work and how special it is to reconnect with her antenatal groups after their babies have arrived.
How did you get into midwifery?
Before becoming a midwife I worked in the corporate world. I didn’t have much job satisfaction and found myself really drawn to the idea of midwifery. So I made the huge career leap back in 2013 and worked in a few different London hospitals. But I really wanted to be a midwife in the heart of a community, ideally in a village, which is what I’m now doing - I feel like I’ve achieved the dream!
What is your current role?
Alongside teaching antenatal classes, I work as a lactation consultant, supporting people with feeding their baby, and I also run my own baby massage classes. So I usually meet people during their pregnancy and can see them right up until their babies are around six months old. I love that continuity and getting to know people throughout that time.
The people I teach at Bump & Baby Club will often come as a group to my baby massage classes, which is so lovely. They don’t come to those because they need my support; they come because they want to be in a relaxing space all together, and I hear them give each other support on all sorts of things.
How does it feel to see your antenatal groups again after they’ve given birth?
It’s really lovely to see them again. I think about the transition a lot… At the antenatal classes everyone is so excited and happy and preparing as best they can, but having a baby is very abstract at that stage - it’s quite surreal being an expectant parent and having no idea what that might mean for you. Once the babies have arrived, they've all got their different stories and a whole new part of their identity. Remaking a connection with them at that point is very special.
What type of conversations happen at the baby massage classes?
There is a lot of chat about sleep because everyone is so sleep deprived! At each class I put a question to the group to open up the conversation. I usually ask them to share their ‘wins’ of the week and I say I’ll take any win, big or small. Sometimes people have a great win, like they went to a mum and baby wine tasting event or something super fun like that, while another person’s win might be that they managed to have a shower or a hot cup of tea or their baby slept for a three-hour stretch. Further down the course, when I feel people are a bit more relaxed and ready to share, I will ask for their challenges too. It can be quite emotional when someone opens up about something they’re going through and realises they’re not the only one experiencing it - there’s someone else in the room with exactly the same issue. It’s very reassuring to know you’re not alone in whatever you’re facing, whether it’s to do with feeding, sleeping, feeling lonely at home if your partner works long hours, struggling to fill time, or not knowing how to deal with visitors, family or expectations. Everyone has similar concerns.
What led you to become an antenatal instructor in the first place?
I took the Bump & Baby Club course myself when I was pregnant and absolutely loved it. Straight afterwards I said to my husband, "I wonder if one day I could teach those classes. I’d love to do that,” and that’s how it all started!
I was already a qualified midwife so I didn’t need the information when I took the course, but I wanted to do it for the social aspect. It’s so important to have that group of people who are at the same stage of the journey and in a similar geographic location, and we became friends with a brilliant group of people. I also felt it was important for my husband to learn the information - as much as I try to teach him things about birth, he doesn't listen to me! I knew if he heard it all from another midwife he’d fully engage.
When I came on board the team there wasn’t a Bump & Baby Club in Thame yet, so it was great to start a new club, close to my home. Thame is a fantastic area for new families with an amazing community and I love being part of it.
How would you describe your style of teaching?
I know some people might be feeling a bit anxious or fearful around birth or being responsible for a baby, so I try to make my teaching as uplifting, positive and fun as possible, while getting all the information across.
I like to create as many laughs as possible and use a lot of props to make things memorable. In the first session I use balloons to create the uterus and everyone gets to birth a ping-pong ball out of their balloon, which always breaks the ice! And during the feeding session I use chocolates of different sizes to demonstrate the size of a baby's tummy on the different days - I hope it sticks in people's minds and reassures them on Day One, when they've just given birth and they're worried that their baby isn’t getting enough milk, that its tummy is only the size of a Malteser!
Is there one particular piece of advice you love to pass on to expectant parents?
There are a couple of things I really love to share. My first is related to feeding: If you have in mind the way you’d like to feed your baby but you come across challenges, do reach out for support. Don't feel like you're failing or it’s your fault and there's nothing you can do about it. Struggles with feeding are very often linked to the situation people are in, the birth they've had, or their postnatal recovery, and it’s all happening at a time when people are so vulnerable and hormonal and sleep-deprived. There is support available.
The other thing is around parenting… I think one of best things you can do as a parent is to trust your own instincts, whether you’re parenting your newborn, toddler or older child. It is so easy to get caught up in comparing yourself to others and to feel like other people are the experts and you must follow what they’re doing. But we're all different. Before having children, you weren't doing the same as everyone else, you were doing the things that worked for you, and it should be the same in parenthood. It is only as the years have gone on that I’ve realised this myself - if something has felt right or not right for my child, but I've acted against my instincts because of what other people were doing, I've regretted it. So, I think that would be my big message: In any scenario you're in, if you have a gut instinct about it, stick to that.
