“I am so glad I made the decision to birth Toby the way I did”
From planning a home birth to having a c-section, Bump & Baby Club writer, Lottie, describes the birth of her second baby, Toby, and how it differed from her first.
Words: Lottie LewisOur sweet son Toby arrived 15 days overdue at 11:46am on 29th May 2025. Entering the world via elective c-section, he was the biggest baby to be born at the hospital that week, weighing in at a whopping 10lbs 13.5oz. Nothing about the birth was in line with my original plan, but I still feel grateful and lucky to have had the experience we did.
From the early stages of pregnancy I’d had my heart set on a home birth. Our first child Bonnie arrived spontaneously 12 days late and I had a zero-intervention natural birth in the local hospital. This time around I trusted my body entirely and had an anxiety-free pregnancy. I knew that I wanted to have a water birth at home, with minimal people in the room. My partner Charlie and a midwife were more than enough for me. When I pictured the experience I felt calm and empowered, it would be night time, the room quiet, the fire lit, candles and clary sage burning. I gathered the birthing playlists of friends and compiled a list of my favourite tracks. I attended pregnancy yoga classes and memorised all my favourite positions that I would use during labour. I practiced my breathing techniques and spoke to friends who had also had home births. I was genuinely excited to give birth again, to experience something so intense and primal.
Slipping past my due date I wasn’t worried. Bonnie had been late and I expected our little boy to be postdates too. My midwife enquired whether I’d like to book an induction but I confidently declined, more than happy to continue waiting. At the same appointment she measured my swelling stomach and, concluding I was measuring a little small, booked me in for a scan at hospital. As I was set on home birth I was really happy to attend as it meant I’d get confirmation of the baby’s position. Absolutely certain I didn’t want an induction and concerned it could lead to more interventions, we preliminarily booked in an elective c-section for term + 16, but I was certain I wouldn’t make it that far - why on earth would my baby be so late?
“Everything is looking good!” the midwife told me at the ultrasound, “but as with any scan, it can also show up problems.” My heart sank at the same time as palpitated. At almost 41 weeks pregnant how could I be about to find out something was wrong? I had felt so relaxed about the appointment that I’d attended it alone, and instantly regretted being without my partner or mum. “Baby isn’t measuring small at all, he’s actually measuring really big. So big that he is classed as LGA (large for gestational age) and you’re now outside of guidelines for a home birth.” As the news settled I felt huge relief that she hadn’t said something more detrimental. Charlie and I weren’t big people, Bonnie hadn’t been a big baby, and the midwife explained that the further on in pregnancy you progress, the more inaccurate the growth scans can become. I was sent to the triage ward for a chat with a doctor about the risks of home birth with an LGA baby, but as I walked up there I still felt very confident about a home birth.
Two hours later I finally saw a midwife who explained the risks associated with LGA babies, such as shoulder dystocia. On the walk back to the car I rang Charlie, fired up that the “system” were trying to change my birth plan, and that I didn’t believe I was truly carrying a big baby. He gently reminded me that the NHS were just looking out for me, and all they wanted was for me to deliver my baby safely, but that he also supported whatever decision I made. I stopped in at my friend’s house to collect Bonnie, and over a cup of tea we picked apart the pressure that is sometimes put on women to have an induction when they are overdue. However, by the time I got home all my anger had burnt out I felt simply sad. I called my mum in tears, hoping she could make some decisions for me.
Over the next few days I had numerous calls with consultants and the head midwife at the hospital, who was amazing. She explained the Birth Choices scheme to me, which prioritised mother’s mental health alongside safe birthing, and allowed me to override the system to have a birth I was happy with. We discussed everything that was worrying me, and she explained that in the most serious, rare cases of shoulder dystocia, there were only 5-6 minutes to get a stuck baby safely earthside. With this information I knew that my birthing experience came second to the safety of our son, and decided to change our plan to the birth centre, which was joined to the hospital. Whilst I was now considered high-risk, the head midwife signed me off to have a water birth in the midwife-led unit, as she was happier for me to be in close proximity to help if I needed it, avoiding an emergency situation at home.
As I crept closer to the 42 week mark I started to feel a huge amount of pain in my pelvis. Walking became agony and I could hardly move. Convinced I was going into labour I shipped Bon off to her grandparents and waited for the contractions to find some rhythm but nothing happened. I continued like this for a two days. Even though baby’s movements were fine, the night before I’d fallen into a Google hole about overdue babies and the associated risks. I’d been exceptionally calm up until this point, truly believing that every baby comes when they are ready, but after reading a few incredibly unhelpful horror stories on Reddit I was a hormonal mess. Charlie found me at home, crying my eyes out about how worried I was. I told him I needed the baby out as soon as possible.
We returned to the hospital for my pre-op appointment at 40+14. With anxiety at an all time high, I broke down to a midwife, asking if there was any way they could fit me in for a c-section that day. She explained that they were extremely busy on the maternity ward, but suggested I ask the anaesthetist when he came to talk to us about the procedure. He was amazing, and said he wanted me to feel like my concerns were heard. He organised an instant appointment for me to talk to the surgeon.
Trying to keep a handle on my emotions I explained my anxieties to the wonderful surgeon who took everything on board quietly and logically. When I expressed my concerns about being so overdue, he was very pragmatic and honest, and said if I was stressed then he would do everything he could to fit me in for an elective c-section as soon as possible. Desperate to get my baby out and safe in my arms, I was so grateful when he said we could come back tomorrow.
After almost ten months of pregnancy it was a surreal feeling to pack up the car and head to the hospital the next day, knowing that the arrival of our son was imminent. The hospital in Cornwall is always at max capacity and we were prepared to wait all day to be seen, but after only an hour we were greeted by a wonderful midwife who excitedly told us they had time to perform the operation. The nerves hit me as I stood up. I could not believe we were about to meet our baby.
Looking back on the hours that followed it feels like recalling a strange dream. When the prospect of an elective c-section had started to become a reality for me I had spoken with a few friends who had had both elective and emergency sections, and knew what to expect. However I was still surprised by the experience. Pre-op Charlie and I were excited, me getting into my gown and Charlie into his scrubs. It felt incredibly surreal that this was our birthing experience compared to the spontaneous and natural labour we’d had with our first born. I walked to theatre without even a hint of a contraction, water’s intact, knowing that I wouldn’t be leaving that room without a baby.
I was surprised by how clinical the environment felt, bright lights and upwards of ten people, all in scrubs, monitors beeping and wires looping everywhere. I started to feel very nervous, but the entire team worked to put me at ease, chatting as if what was happening was no big deal. The spinal block was painless and I quickly lost all feeling in my body from my chest down. The team were so calm and efficient, and the midwife present was so excited for us. I don’t like hospital environments as they make me feel so anxious, but the surgeon suggested I put my playlist on, and I closed my eyes and listened to our birthing music, trusting Charlie to answer any questions.
I felt a tugging, a heavy pressure on my belly and a strange rummaging. Within five minutes of the initial incision I heard a gurgling cry. Before he’d even been pulled from my stomach Toby was voicing his indignation about being brought into the world without his say so! At almost 11lbs he was definitely ready, however much he might have wanted to stay curled up and cosy in my belly for who knows how much longer. Towelled down and yelling he was placed on my chest. Wide eyed, fiery haired, huge handed. Our fully cooked gentle giant was suddenly earthside after all my worrying. Skin to skin we both calmed down, before I passed him to his daddy and he was quickly checked over by the midwife and neonatal nurse. It was quite awkward to hold him as I had so many wires attached to my hands and shoulders, so Charlie took charge of the cuddles whilst I was stitched up.
Less than two hours from entering theatre, heavily pregnant and with no sign of labour, I was wheeled to recovery with my gorgeous boy. I chugged the tea and ate all the toast, sweet Toby nestled on my chest. The feeling returned to my feet and I wiggled my toes. I couldn’t believe that after such a long pregnancy I had been gifted my son, safe and sound, in an hour and 45 minutes.
It’s difficult to say which birth I preferred. They were both intense and amazing and entirely new experiences in their own right. Whilst my plan had slid from one end of the scale to the other in a matter of days, I am so glad I made the decision to birth Toby the way I did (even the surgeon told me I’d made the right decision after we found out the weight!) and I don’t have any regrets. The healing is a different journey to healing from birth, but after a couple of weeks I am already comfortable and looking forward to running around on the beach after our toddler, walking the coast path with Toby in the sling, and surfing again before the summer is over.
